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More Being Human

Today is better.  Yesterday, however was not so good.  I mean the overall day was ok.  I got a lot of reading done, found some new product websites and got to catch up on some note taking.  By the end of the evening I was crying and crying, and crying some more.

What started it all is my watching Netflix and the seasons of “Brothers and Sisters.”  It was one of my favorite programs when it was on tv.  I had been enjoying the episodes up until it got to the one when Kitty had a miscarriage.  I was handling the fact that she had a miscarriage just fine, but then they threw in a scene where she actually got a chance to hold her still born baby.  That threw me straight into emotional overload.

I had a similar experience some many years ago, and watching that scene was gut wrenching for me and it really and truly caught me off guard.  I began going back over my life thinking about what I have done, the things that I didn’t do, and some of which I feel I should have done.

It really began to weigh heavy on me the fact that my wonderful husband and I never had any children of our own.  We have his two boys which I’ve always considered mine anyway, but for some reason yesterday I was in emotional overload.  I mean I couldn’t turn the tears off and it was driving me crazy.  I’m not one to have pitty parties, but I had this feeling of loss and regret gripping me like a piece of wood in a vice in wood shop class.

I eventually dried up all the tears and went to bed saying, “Father, I don’t know what this is all about, but I’m sure you do. So, heal me as I lay here and go to sleep tonight.  Allow me to actually get some rest, not just sleep.”

When I woke up, I felt better, but I could feel my body fighting the feeling of being up and walking around as the hubby and I set out on our Saturday Errands.

The day seems, even now, to be moving really slow and I’m ok with that.  He cooked us some delish food and I took a nap.  When I woke up I felt much better.  I can’t help but think, what is lingering inside of me that keeps coming to the surface in a fit of tears.  I’m sure that God will reveal, and until He does I’m just going to stay in prayer about it.

Continuing on my Being Human journey.  Thanks for reading, share your thoughts.

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Posted by on August 25, 2012 in General

 

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Being——-Human

So many times we are referred to, and it is true, as human beings.
Lately though, I have found myself existing as a “human DOING.”
Doing this, doing that, planning for this, finishing up that, looking at this, finding that…just always moving and/or doing.

Even in my quiet time with God this morning I found myself struggling to bring my mind in and concentrate on Him. I’m normally able to just zero right in with Him and get my refreshing for the day. I found myself thinking of what I needed to do as I came out of my time with Him and really having to pull myself back in. I just wanted quiet. For about the last week, and especially the last few days, I have been looking for quietness. Stillness. Nothingness. No conversation. No plans. No list. No needs. No wants….Just longing for a place within myself of still and quiet.
The phone rings, and I glance at it as though it is a literal enemy. “I don’t wanna talk to anybody” I say to myself. “I don’t want any reports, whether they are good, bad, mediocre or otherwise. I’m feeling really good on the inside. I have a spirit of great expectation, but I still just want Quiet, Nothing, Stillness.

I know that as the day progresses I’ll have to come out of my little cocoon I’ve created in the morning to bring a balance to myself, but if I could just have it a little longer, and a little more often.

What do you do to bring your balance back with the world seems too loud around you?

 
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Posted by on July 22, 2012 in General, Spiritual Encouragement

 

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My Absence

Hello Everyone and Happy Friday to you. It’s been so long since I’ve been able to access my blog thanks to an unmentionable search engine (internet explorer), but I’m back now.
It was so frustrating not being able to connect with you all. Those that come to my email I could read but not respond at all. So, look forward to some responses on some past blogs on my favorites.

So much has been going on. I’ve created some new fragrances and a couple new products. Of course I’m always reading and researching to see what I could come up with next.

Things are moving right along at the new church home, it’s been officially 5 months since we’ve joined now.

Of course you can’t have life without its ups and downs and I’ve had a few of those too. I’ve also had some very inspirational contact with old friends and new ones. I’m grateful for that.

Now tell me, what have I missed with you all…don’t spare any details.

 
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Posted by on July 20, 2012 in General

 

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Good Deeds For Sure

Ok, so last weekend a few friends (the hubby, and the worship team of my church) and I all got together to see the new movie by Tyler Perry. The main reason I wanted to see it is because I had been reading a few Face book stats from men saying that it was a typical “Tyler Perry, angry woman gets saved by a nice guy” movie…and I not only disliked the remark, but just felt that Tyler has so much more in him than that.
So, during the movie I had some moments of laughter, thought provoking moments, and truly gut wrench crying moments. This movie put it all out there. I mean just when you think that you know the woman that you might work with, how she’s always angry and snappy, how she seems to always be running late and having excuses; this movie makes you stop and say “wow, you just never know what the next person may be dealing with in their life outside of the job.”
I found myself shaking my head in pain for this woman as one bad thing after another, after another, after another just seemed to fall in her path. I know a few women that have dealt with the very thing that this woman dealt with in this movie, but the only thing is that they had to just struggle through. Nobody came to their aid, nobody was in their life who could really do a “Good Deed” to bring them out of their situation. When you see people in your life struggle, regardless of how they got there, and you CAN’T do a thing to help them directly it crushes you on the inside. I watched this movie with so much emotion because to me it was like watching a 20/20 story or documentary…well in actuality it was a documentary. How many of you have been or know of somebody who’s been in that situation or almost in that situation? Either way it is a scary thought.
Even the seemed to be angry and ungrateful brother had some underlying issues as to why he “seemed” angry, ungrateful, and even bitter. You just never know what is in the heart of a person; which is why its so important to walk in love toward people in this world. As humans we face 100 million things on a day to day basis, some of which connect us in so many ways that we really don’t have the room or time to be judgmental of each other because we all have something that we are dealing with. What you deal with may not be what I have to deal with, but it still remains that we all are connected by certain human struggles.
At first look this woman just seemed to have a really really bad day, but as you sit and watch and take in all that is going on you see that she is in this predicament do to a loss in her life and her having to make a quick decision to keep her and her daughter afloat.
Wesley, who is “The Man” in the movie, even had his own issues that he had to deal with, but as he learned more about this woman, he also learned more about himself and his real dreams and desires for life. His character showed me the sacrifices that we as people sometimes make, all with good intentions, but can be detrimental to our own dreams for our lives. His desire to make sure that the dreams of his father and mother stayed afloat was draining him, to say the least, as he worked endlessly to appear in control of it all. He had dreams of his own that were on the back burner because of what his mother “wanted” for the family business. The disrespectful and degrading relationship of the younger brother and the mother made me literally want to slap his face…LOL…I’m so serious, but later I understood, he too had a dream. It was amazing to watch one brother live the dream of the other while putting his dream on hold and the other brother become bitter and resentful to him for “living his dream” so to speak.
When Wesley really found out the truth of what was going on with this woman there was something in him that would not allow him to just sit by and watch, but he absolutely had to do something. This was so inspirational to me because of the dreams that I have to help people on a larger scale, but for now I do what I can.
What a different type of world we would be living in if as a people when we see others that truly need help step up and do something to help them. We may not be able to do it all but there is something that we all can do and if we just start there change would really be obtainable.
One thing I can say about this movie, without making this movie review into a book, LOL, is that it pricked my heart. It made me take a lot of things into consideration in my life and the lives of those that I come into contact with. This movie makes you go into yourself and for me that’s always a good thing to leave a movie with. Entertainment is a good thing, but a life changing thought provoking movie encounter is something totally different. I’m proud of Tyler Perry and Good Deeds. If you haven’t seen it, you should go see it.

 
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Posted by on March 15, 2012 in General

 

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Strategic Prayer

The Bible says in Matthew 24:10 And then shall many be offended, and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another. 11 And many false prophets shall rise, and shall deceive many. 12 And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold.
 
We see that iniquity is abounding and the love (common compassion) of many is waxing cold. Let us begin to truly seek the Face of The Father to shield and protect our loved ones and even those that we don’t know.
 
I am requesting that you not only pray the prayer with me, but send it to other prayer warriors that you KNOW will PRAY.
 
Father, we come humbly before your throne seeking grace to help in the time of need.  We remind You of Your Word that states if any two agree as touching anything, whatsoever we ask will be done.  So we come in the Mighty name of Jesus Father on behalf of the City of Detroit, the State of Michigan and this Nation.  Father, we rebuke the spirit of violence, rage, murder, rape, molestation, lasciviousness, hatred, destruction and decay, lies and deceit in the name of Jesus.  We come against every evil assignment and bind the hands of the strongman assigned to the region of Detroit, the State of Michigan and this nation. We loose him from his assignment in the name of Jesus, we Plead the blood of Jesus over every citizen, over every home and business,  we rebuke every spirit of fear and drawback in the name of Jesus.  We rebuke the spirit that comes to dishonor Fathers, and Mothers, and the elderly in the name of Jesus.  Father, we continue to ask that You return the heart of the fathers, and mothers back to the children in the name of Jesus.  We stand in unity Father praying for restoration of everything that has been broken down, destroyed, and decayed and we thank You for doing it even now Father in the name of Jesus.  Cause intercessors from all over the world to pick up this prayer in the spirit realm and began to prayer to strengthen the stand of righteousness in the name of Jesus.  Cause the saints everywhere Father to be Sober and Vigilant, and to stand and fight against the enemy that is on the prowl and seeking to destroy. 
 
In the name of Jesus Father, we ask that you would send the same anointing that You sent to the burning bush that burned before Moses, but was not consumed, send that anointing of fire Father to burn in the city of Detroit, the State of Michigan and this Nation, and to sanctify the ground and make it Holy. Send revival Father and turn back that hearts of the people to You in the name of Jesus.  Help the saints of God to redeem the time Father, catch us up in the spirit realm to do the work that You have set us in this Earth to do in the name of Jesus.  We thank You Lord for answering our prayer in the name of Jesus.  This is the confidence that we have, that You hear us, and if we know that You hear us, we know that whatever we ask according to Your will You will do it.  We know that Your will is to bring redemption to every soul and we decree and declare it to be so in the name of Jesus. Amen.
 
BE ON YOUR POSTS WARRIORS! THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS!!!
 
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Posted by on March 12, 2012 in General, Spiritual Encouragement

 

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This Is Where We Come In!!!

There has been an outbreak of violence involving children and teens everywhere in the last couple weeks.  Please join me in the following prayer and go so far as to send it to others that you know will pray.

 
Father, we come to you united and standing in agreement for the deliverance of our children.  We come against the assignment of the enemy against every child and teenager in the name of Jesus.  We plead the blood of Jesus over our children and call them out of every snare that has and seeks to entrap them in the name of Jesus.  We rebuke the spirit of rage, anger, murder, violence, rejection, depression, wickedness, and every other spirit assigned to them as individuals and as a generation in the name of Jesus.  We speak to these spirits and command that they be loosed from children and teenagers everywhere, we rebuke every generational curse and every word curse spoken over our children in the name of Jesus.  We call these spirits to be plucked up by the root and cast into the depths of the sea in the name of Jesus.  We decree and declare deliverance for our children and we say that they are people of integrity and character that honor their fathers and mothers and others in authority in the name of Jesus.  Our children are blessed and mighty in this earth with a kingdom influence in this earth in the name of Jesus. Father, we ask that You heal every hurt in our children, mend every broken place in the name of Jesus.  Open their eyes Father that they may see the error of their ways and be turned around in the name of Jesus.  Move every obstacle Father that stands in their way of getting to you in the name of Jesus.  We decree and declare that our children shall influence this nation in a greater way to turn people’s hearts back to you, they shall live and not die and they shall declare and do the work of the Lord in every place in the name of Jesus.  We thank You Father for deliverance for our children in the name of Jesus.  Send peace, healing, understanding, love, and acceptance to our children Father, cause people of mighty, positive, and powerful influence to them to get them back on track.  Father, every parent that is not in their place in their children’s lives Father cause them to come forth and be and do what You have called them to be to the children of this nation and children everywhere in the name of Jesus.  Father, turn the hearts of the fathers back to the children and the children back to the fathers in the name of Jesus.  We give you thanks and praise for the deliverance of our children Father, we decree that it is so in the name of Jesus. Amen.
 
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Posted by on February 29, 2012 in General, Spiritual Encouragement

 

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